He should have played Hart, Dawson, Sol Campbell, Scott Parker, Adam Johnson, Ashley Young, Crouchy... but too late now, hopefully some new players will be given a chance. Also relieved West Ham have a decent manager and looking forward to the new season. By the way if you see anyone with a vuvuzela please insert it violently into their rectum...

So STILL waiting on dates to go to back to North America to shoot a full pilot. It's now been over a year I've been working on my project. Please all pray to your Gods that this works out cos it really is getting to the point now where I'm questioning this whole industry. I've put my heart and soul into it so I really hope that it comes off. I am working on other projects here in the UK, but again getting a chance is not easy in this business, even when, like me, you're a proven hit! With a few exceptions, the standard of comedy on television in this country is utterly diabolical while real talent struggle to get onto our screens and the same old shit is recycled and insultingly bad, unfunny, smug, coke head pricks plague our television sets. It is a shame but unless actual channels starts to think differently this will not change. Rant over.

Thanks to everyone for all your messages on facebook, myspace, and youtube fansites. I try to reply to each one individually so apologies if this isn't the case. I know you all want me back on the tele and trust me now I can focus back in the UK for a bit, this is my goal. I have 2 new ideas which should be picked up this year but again I'm not in control of this, 60 million hits on Youtube would agree with us though eh? Fingers crossed.

The Neg 'Tour de Farce' live shows are starting up again in September!!!! I think the first couple of dates are in Huddersfield, and Newcastle! Will keep you updated but DJ Teeth and Myself are 100% back and touring the country after being banned from the circuit! Watch this space.

OK. Take care y'all. Enjoy the Summer, it's looking like a good one for the first time in years!

A reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedy xxx

June 2010

Thanks again for all your messages, I'm STILL waiting on American project to be green lit. Couple of other things on hold until it's all sorted. Very complicated and frustrating but could be massive and should be sorted over the summer. Maybe 2011 is the year of the Neg after all!!!

Come on ENGERLAND!

Toot!

May 2010

Quick one as feeling really ill. It's not Swine flu (where did that go anyway?) think it's Ladybird Tonsilitis or Dolphin Chlamydia.

West Ham staying up, thank God.
Still working on USA project.
Should be filming some more new stuff over summer.
Back to bed. BLEEEEEEERR.

Peep. x

April 2010

Weather shite still in UK, SNOW AGAIN! I mean, what is that about? Even more depressing is West Ham's form, just WOEFUL, we're bang in trouble. Does my nut in cos most of my mates are Spurs fans. GRRRRRR!

BUSY BUSY BUSY. Make or break time for next project. Wish me luck!!!!!!!!

In a bit. x

March 2010

Mornin,

Just got back from Las Vegas, holy shit what a place! Hopefully we'll be returning there soon to cause some mayhem. I'm spending a lot of time now focusing on this new shoot which will probably be over the Summer. Can't say any more than that but as ever, thanks for all your messages and we're nudging closer to getting more Neg madness on TV.

West Ham won a couple of games. Still worried as it's close down there but at least we're not Pompey, Wowser they are fucked, nearly as shite as my Sunday league team.

Stay warm and keep smiling.

Neggy xx

PS- For everyone who keeps messaging - The 'Tour de Farce' live show is taking a back seat while I concentrate on my new projects. Hopefully we'll be back later this year!

February 2010

Well in January I've already managed to finish filming one pilot and now moving to the next. Would like to send thanks to Rex for letting us use his gaff to shoot.

My main project has been put back 2 months (again!) but this gives me a chance to finish some other ideas the BBC were interested in.

My buddy Tim Shaw goes into the 'box' on the 16th. He's really pushing it this time I feel. I wouldn't even do this one - www.maninbox.co.uk

Now.... where's my passport?

January 2010

Hope everyone had a great Xmas, and a happy new year and all that bollocks.

Working hard on several projects. Should be seeing some real progress around Springtime.

Getting bored of this snow now... ATCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! x

December 2009

Mornin' all.

Well another year draws to an end, and I don't give a shit what I said last year, 2009 DID 'fly by'! For me it's been a year of experimentation... Working on radio, performing tons of characters with Tim Shaw on Absolute. Also I started my nutty 'Tour de Farce' live show, which caused carnage in Newcastle, and is continuing next year hopefully. Plus I've been writing and filming some new comedy both here in the UK and in the USA!!!!

I hope these projects can develop to great things in 2010. Fingers crossed that I'll have the opportunity to make my own show. I know everyone wants this and believe me I am working so hard to make this happen.

Once again, thank you for all your support and lovely messages.

Can we all take some time over this festive period to pray.... for West Ham. We really need it!

Happy Chris my ass!!!!!!! A REEEEEEDY!

X

November 2009

I find myself doing a hell of a lot of work at the moment, for a hell of a little. However there are lots of postive things going on so hopefully I will be raising hell on your screens again next year, one way or another. Fingers crossed!

West Ham are worrying me. All I do these days is work and worry.

I'm off to stuff a pumpkin full of fireworks and throw it at a Santa, cos IT'S TOO EARLY FOR ALL THIS XMAS SHIT!

Neg xxxx

PS- To the 4 trillion people that keep asking mel, NO! There is no more 'Balls of Steel'. Please call Channel 4 to find out why cos I have no idea.

October 2009

Well September was a very interesting and busy month indeed, on top of my amazing birthday. My trip to North America was a great success and we captured some gold out there, must say i'm sorry if you got caught up in the chaos during filming, ha ha! Sorry but I really can't elaborate any more than that yet, but hopefully I will be able to tell all soon. Fingers crossed and I'll be back to do more in America.

Looks like i'm also gonna be filming some hidden camera stuff for BBC Online too but again I can't say any more as yet.

West ham look terrible this season, the motorways are a mess, and winter is on the way but things in general are bearable for once.

Easy now. A reedy, Neg. X

September 2009

Hey all.

Still recovering from my birthday and trying to get everything sorted before my trip to America. Things coming along nicely with the show but unfortunately I can't let on any more than that at this stage. 'Neg Vs' is on hold now as we were dealing with complete and utter amateur idiots unfortunately, but we'll be shooting some more stuff in the UK when I have time.

The first ever 'Neg's Tour De Farce' live show was bananas in Newcastle. We raised the roof. Although I am very busy we're still taking bookings and are available for Universities, club nights etc. Please check 'Live Show' button on the website.

Still doing loads of nutty characters and games on Tim Shaw's Absolute Radio show. Fridays and Saturdays 10pm-1.

Gotta shoot. Easy now. x

August 2009

Negites,

I'm mental busy here so just a quickie. Still pushing the massive project in North America, working on 3 new shows, and due to start filming Neg Versus very soon.

Also my live show 'Neg's Tour de Farce' starts on Aug 5th in Newcastle. We'll be going round the UK over the next few months causing mayhem. Gonna be bonkers. Try and check it out if you can. Will put more info on website and Facebook fansite as I get it too.

Love Neg. x

PS - I told you the weather would be shit

July 2009

Start of July and we've been melting. Trying to work but it is just too hot. I actually predicted this weather in my June Blog (below). It won't last, trust me! Plus I NEVER moan about it being too hot in this crappy country, the hotter the better. In my opinion it's only when the sun is shining that the UK becomes a bearable place to exist in.

Anyhoo. I'm shooting a 5 part series of 'Neg Versus' over the Summer. We're being sponsored by TANGO!!! I'm writing these very shows at the moment. I've got another idea up my sleeve which I'll be filming in August and I'm still waiting for news on a few other projects including from the USA about a show out there.

To answer the hundreds of loyal Negites demanding every week; There is 99.99% no more Balls of Steel (ask Channel 4 why, not me!?) and unfortunately it seems that no-one is willing to take a punt on giving me my own show in the UK just yet. I am as baffled by this as you lot, especially considering the amount of varied material I have and that the international YouTube figures for Neg's Urban Sports are over 30 million now, an incredible fanbase on top of the millions here! Yes I am well aware the same old talentless, unfunny crap is being recycled on our screens but what can we do? I will keep pluggin away for the time being. Looks like abroad is the way to go.

Hope y'all liked the Michael Jackson vid. YouTube wankers wiped it off. It's seems they reckon it's ok to search for 'MJ's dead corpse' on YouTube but you're not allowed to parody someone as a joke. Idiots. In my opinion what we did is not a touch on the sick videos of his actual corpse being loaded into a helicopter and then followed by another helicopter filming it, being beamed around the world by the worlds media. I bet thats still on YouTube. But the weird pervs looking for this stuff complained about MY vid?!??!?

-Here it is anyway, on my Facebook fansite.

(BTW I only accept friend requests from people I know on my personal FB. Sorry, but there is this FB Fansite/Myspace/Twitter/Bebo though!)

Keep sending me messages. I always endevour to answer everyone individually, if I haven't, SORRY!!! I really appreciate the love and support. Thanks so much. A reeeeeeeeeeeeeeedy.

Neggy.

June 2009

Summer arrived and then went (ish). I mean we've had about 4 warm, sunny days already in 2009, which is pushing our luck. I'm guessing that will be it for us this year. Apart from the typical few days in July, when we get a bit of sunshine, it gets to 31 degrees and The Daily Star says 'Hotter than Athens'. Which is closely followed by days of thunderstorms and then back to normal shitty rain again. Pathetic.

I know everyone misses Balls of Steel and I know people want more from me. Believe it that I am trying my ass off to get back on screens. The Bragster deal is still being thrashed out and there are now possibilites with MTV again, can I say that? I also recently went to Toronto for a shoot which went really well. I met a couple of producers out there and hopefully some big plans for another project in North America so fingers crossed for that. Looking very likely somthing could happen so I'm quite excited.

Getting messages from all over the world, Japan, Mexico, sweden, Australia, Malaysia, USA, Denmark.... so so cool. Thanks for all your support as ever. Got recognised in Toronto loads which was really weird, it usually just happens in the local Tesco nowadays, always in Tesco come to think of it!

Can't believe Man U were so shit in CL Final. Millwall AND Sheff Utd all mashed up their chances to get promoted. Hilarious!

A strangely, slightly sunburnt Neg xx

May 2009

I'm here, and I was feeling bit better but got a liver infection now (liver, hmmm, surprise!?). After my knee being mashed for 6 months was great to get back up and running about again, but now this shite!

I’m sure I’ll be fine, totally keeping off the booze totally and going back to docs.

May just rent a room in the surgery the amount of time I’m in there! Managed not to contract pig aids as yet but I’m sure as predicted half the UK will be dead in a month, or NOT methinks. Idiots.

Finally got signed with brand spanking new agent. It’s Andy and Helen at Insanity Talent Management, and I’m PROPA looking forward to working with them. Bragster are weeks away from sorting a sponsor so looks like we're gonna be filming the Neg Vs series over summer. Also had interest from overseas so I’m heading abroad this month, will let you guys know any developments first!

Brand new Queeen sketches finished should be on site asap.

West Ham still sitting pretty in 7th. Unbelievable! Zola and Clarke doing wicked job.

Looking forward to a great year now. Stay safe y’all and beware any sneezing pigs wearing sombreros.

A Reeeeeeeeeedy.

Neg xxx

April 2009

I'm tucked up in bed with some form of head chlamydia or something bonkers which is making me dizzy and shit. Throat is killing me and fed up! Not up to writing a lot, sorry all.

Few new bits on the website as I hope you've seen. Was a lot of fun pranking Peaches Geldof. .

Just waiting to hear back details from Bragster and we should be filming a whole series of Neg Versus...

Other than that still have plenty of new ideas in pipeline, and new Queeen sketches on the way too... Need to get better otherwise I'm not going anywhere....

Going back to bed before I fall over..... a (poorly) whooooooooop whoo...

Neg x

March 2009

A reeeeeeeeeeedy,

Spring is upon us and thank the lord. What a miserable, cold, shitty Winter, over at last. Let's just pray we get some sun and warmth this year.

Work wise, cos so many of you keep asking. I've filmed a pilot for Bragster (apologies if you were caught up in the cross-fire of my shenanigans across London recently). Hopefully something will come from that and there will be more Neg madness heading your way this Summer. Also still waiting to hear back from several other companies about ideas. Could and should be a big year for Neg.

West Ham's inconsistent form been getting me down but I'm hopeful emergency loan signings of Timbaland (left back), Osama Bin Laden (right wing), and Robocop (striker) will give us a bit of oomph in our push for Europe! Even better my knee is pretty much all ok now so I can play for my team Esprit again, after SEVEN months out!!!!!

On a serious and very important note (for once in my life). I gotta say that the Jade Goody saga is an incredibly poignant one. Although I can't bear the woman I can't help but send her and her folks my deepest sympathy, it is horrendous. Her plight not only reinforces but galvanises the fact our shit government are complete and utter WANKERS. Why they've put thousands of girls at risk by lowering the age of smear tests is just plain fucking idiocy. What's happened to her can happen to ANY female and she is one of thousands of women who have very serious cervical problems and complications. I guess at least her sad demise has brought this to the public's and media's attention at last. It's vital, as with any cancer, to detect the symptoms early on, which would happen with smear testing from an earlier age, to prevent the cancer spreading and potential death So....

I never normally do this but please, please, please sign this petition to get the age of smear tests lowered from 25 to 16. It could save you, your sister or daughters life. It really is so so important. Cheers. http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/smeartests/

Neg xxx

February 2009

'A reeeedy,